26 Acts of Kindness - Day 19

Today's Act of Kindness honors Mary Sherlach, age 56. Mary was the school psychologist at Sandy Hook Elementary, and had been for 18 years. She loved her job and was always there to help the students and staff with any problems they might have had. People have said that it's tragic Mary died that day, because now is when she is most needed as she would have been able to help the survivors deal with their problems. I think she did what she thought she should do when she really was most needed. She spent decades protecting and comforting the psyche of the children, and she spent seconds protecting their bodies - even with her life. 

 Mary was a mother of two daughters, and had been married to her husband for 31 years. She loved life. Everything about it, it seems. She was vivacious and compassionate, fearless and gentle, organized and fun-loving, and had a smile that could light up a room. 

 Mary decided to become a psychologist after her daughters were born and many of her friends admired her strength and perseverance to be able to make it through that much schooling with two young children. But Mary was a tough cookie. Her husband said he wasn't surprised when he was told she had died that day - if something bad was going down he knew she would be right in the middle of it. It was simply who she was. If someone - anyone - had a problem, she wanted to be there to help. 

 At work Mary was known for her work ethic and organizational skills. She color coded her schedules and her office always looked like it was ready for a magazine shoot. No loose folders on her desk, no work left undone... 

 When she was home Mary loved to read and garden, which she spent a lot of time doing during the summers when school wasn't in session. She was a diehard Miami Dolphins fan, and loved to sing and dance along to music on the radio - her favorites were the Eagles, and she would pull her daughters to their feet and insist they dance along with her. But she was always a psychologist, whether it was her family, her friends or a neighbor that needed help through a rough patch, Mary was always the one they called. 

 This school year was to be Mary's last before she retired. She and her husband were planning on spending more time at their vacation home in the Finger Lakes region of New York. This past summer Mary invited their neighbor who was going through a divorce to come along with them. The neighbor told her she was too busy, and that she would do it next year... That neighbor said that's the last lesson she will learn from Mary - to do things now, because you never know when it will be too late. 

This whole tragedy is bringing so many different issues to the forefront right now. Access to guns and ammunition, protection in schools, violence in our culture, sensationalist media, and the state of mental healthcare. I tried to avoid a lot of the media coverage of the tragedy at the time it happened - which is odd because now I'm going out of my way to find out information about each and every victim. But I am intentionally focusing on the victims, not the killer. 

But one piece of information did find its way to me via Facebook in those first few days - a piece written by a mother of an unstable teenage son. Her story is heartbreaking and frightening all at the same time. She fears her son could end up in the same situation as this killer, and it terrifies her. She has done all she can for her son - to protect him and to protect others FROM him, but with the state of mental healthcare there is nothing more she can do for him or others unless he is convicted of a crime. The last time she admitted him to the hospital on suicide watch she filled out an intake form that asked her what she hoped she could achieve with her visit. She only wrote: "I need help." 

 Mary made it her life's work to help those who were having a rough time, those who were unstable and those who suffered from mental illnesses. One in four adults and one in ten children in the US suffer from mental illnesses. These people need help and hope and understanding. 

 So in Mary's name and honor today I donated the last of our charity giftcard money to NAMI - the National Alliance on Mental Illness. NAMI "advocates for access to services, treatment, supports and research and is steadfast in its commitment to raise awareness and build a community for hope for all of those in need." I hope this donation can be put towards finding a better way to handle mental healthcare and more ways to help those in danger. 

 Thank you, Mary, for everything you did. Take it easy. 

 "Never look down on anyone, unless you're helping him up." - Jesse Jackson